Self Compassion Through Weight Loss and Infertility
Finding Self Love When You’ve Been Told to Lose Weight
Dealing with infertility is hard enough; the stigma, the waiting, the appointments, the feeling of being behind. It can feel as though a million things are standing in the way of you and parenthood, and now, one more hurdle has been put in front of you: you have been told by your REI to lose weight.
It may seem like fertility and weight loss are two separate journeys, but as so many of us know, they can be painfully intertwined. Both can challenge our minds, our bodies, and ultimately, our faith in ourselves. It can be so easy for us to blame ourselves, to be our own naysayers when goals aren’t being met or when things aren’t going our way.
And while it’s true that higher BMIs can certainly affect our ability to conceive, it’s just one pixel in the overall picture. Last week, we spoke with Dr. Toomer about total weight loss, the idea of shedding ourselves of all of the things that can weigh us down, whether that be pounds, the weight of the world, or simply our own feelings of self-doubt.
As female physicians, though, finding time to be kind to ourselves can be nearly impossible, and being told to lose weight might feel like we are having to delay our fertility journey even more. However, losing weight is so much more about shedding pounds; it's about taking care of ourselves, so in turn, we can have the healthiest pregnancy possible. We owe it to ourselves to do everything possible to become pregnant and stay pregnant, however why is it so difficult to put ourselves first? And where do we even begin? Something as simple as determining mantras which serve us is something we can integrate into our daily routines to give ourselves a little more love and self compassion on this journey.
Self Compassion = Nurturing Self Talk
Do you talk to yourself as you would talk to your best friend? Self compassion comes in many forms. Sometimes it means breaking out of our comfort zone and doing something new, sometimes it means sipping a latte and going for a walk, and other times, it simply means changing the way in which we speak to ourselves and about ourselves.
We are so much more than how our bodies work or look. We are smart, driven, compassionate, and empathic. We know what it means to work hard to achieve a goal. We’ve done it before and we can do it again.
Now, there is a difference between affirming self-talk and just pretending that everything is fine. This is not spiritual bypassing, here. Self compassion isn’t about ignoring hard truths, but rather, giving ourselves the same patience, encouragement, and kindness that we would give to a friend, relative, or even a patient.
What are some examples of nurturing self-talk?
Nurturing self-talk means moving away from placing blame on ourselves and towards giving ourselves grace. Some examples of this include:
“My body isn’t broken. I am doing my best.”
“Progress isn’t always visible, but change is happening. I am always moving forward.”
“I am proud of the steps I made today.”
“Small steps still move me forward. I am okay with small steps.”
“I am focusing on my next right thing.”
“This is hard, but we can do hard things.”
We know that saying these phrases may feel forced, but try it! Whenever we feel our minds start to spiral, when our inner monologue starts spewing talk of self-doubt, try replacing those thoughts with one of these phrases instead. Because through coaching, we know that our thoughts create our feelings, which ultimately create our actions and our results in the world. The more we say it, the more we will believe it. We will start to vibrate at higher frequencies and we will welcome in our greatest good.
We here at Love and Science know that we can all do this! And, if you need a little help or an extra boost, consider reaching out for additional support. Dr. Erica Bove is a double board-certified REI and currently the only REI fertility coach in the world. She is excited and ready to bridge you to parenthood, and her method works. Now it’s time for you to experience these results, too. You deserve it.
Click here to learn more about how working with Dr. Erica can benefit you.
